


Smokescreen Gets Bumblebee a Little Bit Pregnant

by omonaut



Category: Transformers: Prime
Genre: Fluff, Humor, M/M, Mpreg, extremely silly, robots pretending to be pregnant, shenanigans of all kinds, slightly OOC, trust me its worth it
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-12-07
Updated: 2014-12-07
Packaged: 2018-02-28 13:12:15
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,692
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2733857
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/omonaut/pseuds/omonaut
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Smokescreen and Bee decide they want to pretend to go through the miracles of pregnancy and childbirth. Too bad they're both absolute innocent dorks and know nothing about human reproduction...... to the internet!</p>
            </blockquote>





	Smokescreen Gets Bumblebee a Little Bit Pregnant

**Author's Note:**

> i'm tired, sick, and all i can think about is robots getting pretend pregnant
> 
> guys i don't even know how i feel about this ship, i just want to see bee being stupid with his friend

Ratchet leaned over his desk, examining and straightening his tools. He took this moment of peace and quiet, while the others were out, to tidy up and clear his mind. The only ones who were here were Bumblee, Smokescreen and Raf-- who were being all too quiet to not be up to something. Ratchet looked up from his tools and glanced behind him. They were all probably up front watching TV together, though. He sighed. He could probably use a little TV time as well.

Just then, mechanical footsteps came rushing towards his room. Well, the peace was nice while it lasted.

"Ratchet! _Ratcheeeeeet!_ " The door slid open and Bumblebee came in with a determined look. "Ratchet, Ratchet, Ratchet, Ratchet--"

Ratchet pinched the space between his optics. _"What?!_ "

"Ratchet," Bumblebee panted, "I need you to make me a pregnancy test thing!"

A… _what_? Out of all the crazy things that ever come out of Bumblebee's intake… "Bumblebee, just what are you up to? And what in Primus are you asking me to make?"

"Preg-nan-cy test!" Bee repeated, his servos on his hips. "Raf and Smokey and me were watching this video on the Internet for Raf's interfacing education class. Turns out there's this thing that the femmes use to figure out if their offspring will be a male or female. It's so cool!"

Ratchet stared. "Bumblebee…" He said after what seemed an eternity. "Why….do you need a device meant for _pregnant female humans_ …?"

Bumblebee stood on his tiptoes excitedly, his door wings flapping behind him, and replied, "Smokescreen and I are going to have a baby!"

"A-a b-baby?!" Ratchet sputtered, putting his servos up defensively.

"A pretend one, anyways. Ratchet, can't you imagine a little sparkling of me and Smokey running around?"

"I can't."

Bumblebee folded his arms and shifted his weight to one side. "Well, I can. And it's going to be a girl bot and I'm naming her Honeybee. Smokescreen wants to call her Smokescreen, Jr., but that's not happening."

"You know what else isn't happening?" Ratchet asked with a sarcastic smile and his servos behind his back. Bumblebee tilted his head, genuinely curious. "Me making you all a human device. Sorry. Now off with you, Bumblebee."

Bee glared at him with half-lidded optics. "You were going to be the Primusfather. Forget about it. I'll ask Arcee instead. She's more manly than you anyways!" After sticking his tongue out, he stormed out of the room and made his way over to his two buddies who were still glued to the screen. "Smokescreen, Ratchet won't do it. Also he's not going to be the Primusfather anymore."

"Whaaaat?" Smokescreen pouted. "But how else are we gonna pretend baby?"

Raf paused the video and looked back at them with a worried look. "You two do know that there's kind of another step before you can even try 'using' a pregnancy test?" Both of the autobots looked at each other then down at Raf, shrugging. "The reason…well, how girls get a baby in the first place… um…" Bumblebee's optics rotated and whirred curiously, and Smokescreen leaned in closer with wide optics and a slightly open intake. They're a little too into this. A little too innocent for "the talk". Raf adjusted his glasses and said, "Okay, so... You guys have to know about the birds and the bees before--"

"Why?" Smokescreen asked. "What do they have to do with anything? Is it, like, a weird earth custom with animals and babies? Are babies animals? I thought they were just even tinier versions of normal people?"

"I look like a bee a little…" Bee muttered, looking down at his frame. "So does that mean we have to make Smokescreen look like a bird?"

Smokescreen lit up at the idea. "Oh, hell yeah! Can I be an eagle? Those things are awesome! Or a hawk, maybe? Which one looks cooler?"

Raf sighed deeply, throwing his head back against the couch. "Am I really going to have to show you what it looks like?"

" _YEAH!_ " The two young autobots exclaimed, fist pumping the air excitedly.

"You two probably won't want to 'pretend baby' after this," Raf said, typing something in the search bar.

"Nah," Bee said, waving a servo at him. "It'll be worth it to see our precious little Honeybee."

Smoke threw an arm around Bee's shoulders. "Smokescreen, Jr."

"…Honeyscreen?"

"Smokebee?"

"Beescreen."

"Smokehoney."

" _Debra_."

"Guys," Raf interrupted, "I found an example. It's called…well…i-intercourse. Here, just look for yourselves. I need to finish my homework assignment in the meantime. Have fun, I guess." He handed his laptop over to Bee, who held the tiny thing in his palm delicately.

"Right," Bee said, pressing play. "We learned a little about intercourse today. It's probably just some cute ritu-- Smokescreen, what the _hell_ is that thing?"

"No idea," he replied, tilting his head and squinting his optics. "What are those jiggling things on the female? Why are they so big?" "What is he doing with that? Why is everything so _squishy_ looking?" A moment of silence passed. The two brave autobots stared at the screen with total horror. So much was happening, and so many questions boggled their processors.

"I-is she okay?!" The yellow scout asked, pointing at her. "She's making so much noise… she sounds like she's in pain, but--"

"Humans…. are really flexible…"Fifteen minutes later, the video was finally about to end. The male was straddling the female, moving his hand a lot. "Now what?" Smokescreen asked, moving his servos away from his intake. "Why's he tugging at it like-- OH PRIMUS WHAT _IS_ THAT?"

"I-it's like he's leaking energon all over her! That can't be healthy… but it's everywhere and she's… she's trying to…."

"I am not okay. Bee, we cannot do this."

Bee shut the laptop and shoved it under the couch for no one to ever find ever again, then turned to his friend and put his servos on his shoulders. "We have to. It's the only way." He looked off into the distance dramatically, clenching his fist. "For _Debra_."

Smokescreen dropped his head, and also clenched his fist. "F-for Debra…"

Raf looked up from his homework. "Who's Debra?"

Bee held Smoke's servo and pointed a digit at Raf. "Don't ask any questions, Raf-- this is a matter of science! Science and tiny, tiny babies! And if that means doing weird things to Smokey's body in the dark while making a lot of noise... then science and tiny, tiny babies it is! To my berth room!" And with that, the two bots bounded off to make sweet, sweet pretend love.

Raf frowned a little. "I still don't know who Debra is."

\--

"Alright, Smokey. Just lay on the bed like the girl in the video did--"

"I want to be the guy! Can I be the guy? I think you're more motherly than me."

"Am I?" Bee wondered, putting a digit up to his dermas. "I guess. If you say so. I'm turning off the lights, then!" The lights shut off, and the room was completely dark. The only source of light were their blue optics glowing neon blue. "Um, was it this dark in the video?"

"No way. I could see... _everything_...." Smokescreen shuddered. "Turn 'em back on, Bee. We've gotta at least be able to see what's going on."

The lights switched back on. "Well, what else?"

"They were really, really naked."

"Right!" The two bots stared at each other for a moment. "We're naked already, aren't we?"

"Why is this so hard?!" Smokescreen sat on the edge of the berth, putting his faceplate into the palms of his servos in frustration.

"It's okay! It's gonna be okay! We don't have to do everything like the humans do! We can just _pretend_ to get naked."

The other bot peeked through his digits and raised an eyebrow ridge. "Pretend naked?"

Bumblebee darted out of the room, then returned with a long blue curtain draped around his frame. He posed against the wall, holding up the curtain to his chassis and glancing over his shoulder innocently. "Turn on that radio next to you." Smokey obeyed, keeping an eye on Bee. He didn't know why, but there was something about the way Bee was looking at him that kind of gave him scraplets in his tank. The radio started playing some smooth jazz that they'd never heard of before. "Okay, I saw this on TV once. It's called....a strip tease!" Bee turned sharply, his servos on his hips and the curtain flowing around him like a dress. Smokey was totally in awe, and applauded the sight. Bee slowly walked up to Smokescreen with half-lidded eyes, awkwardly swaying his mid-section. He straddled Smoke, and peeled the curtain away slowly in the front, revealing his chassis.

Smokescreen whistled. "Nice."

"This is called _seduction_ , Smokescreen. Knock Out does it a lot just by talking to people. But I can do it too... With my _frame!_ " At the last word, he removed the curtain completely, throwing it to the side in an extravagant manner with his helm tossed back. Smokescreen's optics widened, totally impressed by Bumblebee's seduction skills. He had never seen anything like it. Really.

"Bumblebee, I... I never knew you had it in you, buddy! I'm totally seduced!"

Bee looked down at Smoke happily. "Really?!"

"Yeah, man! High five!"

"Yeah!" They high-fived each other, but just then the door slid open behind them. It was Arcee, and she froze in her tracks at the sight.

She stood outside of the room, examining it-- the curtain tossed to the side, the radio playing overly sensual music, the two bots sitting in an awkward position mid-high five... She stepped into the room and folded her arms. "...Why?"

Bee pointed at the curtain. "I'm seducing him. For science purposes." Smokescreen gave her a thumbs up with a bright smile.

Arcee sighed. "You two need to stop inhaling Earth air so hard. I'm taking Raf home since you're... preoccupied." She left the room, but the two of them could hear Arcee saying something about morons and for Raf to never bring his laptop here ever again.


End file.
